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Engagement Ring Rules: Should Couples Shop Together

26 December 2023

Engagement Ring Rules: Should Couples Shop Together

Engagement Ring Etiquette

An engagement ring is one of the most important pieces of jewellery you'll ever own - not just because of expense but for sentimental value too. So, it's hugely important that the right ring is chosen. This has led to many couples shopping for their rings together. With such an important decision, it only makes sense that the person wearing the ring should be involved. But choosing your own ring very much goes against tradition.

While some wedding rules are meant to be broken, it seems the world is divided on whether to include your partner or not when shopping for engagement rings. Here, we'll explore the advantages and disadvantages of choosing your own ring and how to make the ring selection process special if that's the route you decide.

Should you go Engagement Ring Shopping Together ?


An engagement ring is a big investment; whether you're spending £100 or £10,000, you want to ensure
you get it just right. This is where shopping together for one can come in handy.

If you've never been engaged before, chances are you've never tried on an engagement ring. And, while you might have other rings in styles that you like, an engagement ring is something you'll need to love for the rest of your life. Ideally, you wouldn't buy a house or a car before seeing it and making sure it's the perfect fit first, so why would an engagement ring be any different?

Trying on various types of engagement rings will allow you to get an idea of the styles you like, from trilogy and solitaire to halo and vintage, while also finding designs that fit your budget. You'll also be able to get your finger measured there and then, so there's no awkward mistake of the ring not fitting. You may even find that you'd prefer a gemstone engagement ring rather than a diamond.

Choosing a ring together is a fun experience that can bring you and your partner closer and make you feel enthused and excited about the future.

If you're planning on creating a custom ring, this is an opportunity to make big decisions together. By designing your own ring, you'll need to figure out what works and what doesn't, from the budget to the style, share thoughts and opinions, collaborate and compromise, which makes for good marriage practice too.


The obvious disadvantage of choosing an engagement ring together is the lack of surprise. However, there will still be plenty of mystery elements surrounding the proposal itself that can be kept secret. For example, choosing the ring doesn't mean the proposal will be happening the next day. The timing of the proposal and where and how it happens can all still be a joyous surprise. The only difference is that you already know you'll love the ring chosen.

Some believe that your significant other choosing the engagement ring, without you there, should be a testament to how well they know you. Knowing your ring size and which styles and settings you like shows an effort and commitment to you and the relationship. And so the idea of shopping together is seen as less romantic.

Shopping for an engagement together could also cause some conflict. If your partner has their eyes on their dream ring, but it's out of budget, it may feel uncomfortable saying no. But, if you agree to go over budget, compromises will need to be made elsewhere in your life that could lead to further conflict later on. Finances are one of the biggest causes of arguments amongst couples, in general. But when shopping for a ring, the last thing you want is for it to end in a quarrel.

This is where being able to communicate together clearly and confidently is key.

Communication is Important

If you've decided to shop for an engagement ring together and want to make sure everything goes smoothly and each person's expectations are heard, understood and taken on board, you'll need to be able to communicate properly. Here are some tips on compromise and communication when choosing a ring.

  • Have an open and frank discussion about your finances as a couple. While money can be an uncomfortable topic to discuss at times, it's important to understand your expectations of each other and the consequences of going over budget on the ring.
  • Discuss the idea of splitting the costs. In many modern engagements, the bride-to-be is usually happy to contribute to the cost of the ring if it means they get the ring they've always dreamed of.
  • Be respectful of each other's thoughts and opinions when trying the rings on. If you prefer a simple solitaire, but your partner prefers a vintage look, try and meet in the middle with a stunning halo, for example. While ultimately, your partner will be the one wearing the ring every day, your opinions are still valid, and your partner will no doubt want to make sure that you love the ring just as much.

Modern Engagements

In our modern society, 63% of couples choose to shop for an engagement ring together. Many even propose without a ring, with the plan to shop for one later or custom make a ring together. While tradition has always left the groom responsible for choosing the ring, newer generations are throwing those rules out and experiencing the fun of trying on and choosing their own ring.

Logically, choosing your ring makes sense since you'll get to choose exactly what you want and won't need to worry about the hassle of sizing. But, some fear the romantic aspect of tradition is being lost.

While it may not be the traditional way of proposing, we believe that choosing or designing a ring together still has a very romantic and meaningful story behind it. And there are still plenty of ways to make the occasion special.

Whatever you Choose to do, Make it Special

To make shopping for a ring together more romantic, don't just add it to your regular to-do list. Instead, make a day out of it and turn it into a special occasion.

Pick a date in your diary when you're both free and start contacting the jewellery stores you plan to visit. Some stores may even offer private appointments with champagne arrivals to make the experience even more memorable.

Since your partner will be spending the day trying on rings, they'll no doubt want their nails to look the part, so book them in for a surprise manicure, either in the morning or the day before. You can also take them out for a relaxing brunch beforehand or a romantic dinner afterwards.

Whether you decide to shop together for an engagement ring or want to follow tradition and take the responsibility on yourself (the choice is entirely down to you and your partner), take some time to read through our guide to finding the perfect engagement ring to feel fully prepared.



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